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Putman Edward

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I'm trying to improve the world of fluids by doing some mind boggling research, woohoo! Why? Cos I can! (well someone wants it done really, but shhh, don't tell me that!)

Ed's Great Place for a Blog

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4月5日

The Seven Stages of Beard

Oh my goodness, I can't believe I haven't writen an entry in well over 6 months.  This would tend to suggest I've been busy, or perhaps it suggests I haven't been arsed to write anything and in some respects that is correct but nevertheless here is (for those of you who read these things) my first blog entry in a fair while.

This entry was inspired by a visit to the pub; but then when aren't they?  Aha, maybe that's the reason I haven't writen in a while...it's because we come up with interesting things to write about but I then have a few too many pints and all of a sudden I've forgotten what I was meant to be doing.  It wasn't until I looked at the photos on my phone and thought to myself "Ah, so that's what I was meant to be doing...!".  Anyway, I digress; back to the point.  We were sitting in the pub back in January when someone asked if anyone had told Ed (not me as I was already there) we were going to the pub.  Anyway, after a lot of sole searching, and a couple more pint, the arduous decision was made to send him a text.  Time passed and John turned round and said 'that bloke over there is wearing a coat that is very similar to Ed's' after which we ridiculed him for a bit saying why would anyone in there right mind what to wear a jacket that was similar to Ed.  At this point the bloke walks over a says 'Alright lads?'.  After a lot of double takes we all said 'Ahhh, it is Ed, come and join us'.  He'd grown a beard over Christmas.  What a sign of maturity! (Well almost).  Then Ben anounced he'd shaved once and thought it was time to have another one sometime in the near future.  Hence this article on the seven stages of beard! 

Stage 1.

This is Ben.  Although 24 we believe he has only ever had a shave once before so when he anounced he thought another shave would be appropriate in a few days time we needed a bit of evidence of the 'stubble' he claimed to have on his chin.  So of course, I took a photo.  After a lot of searching and photo enhancement I did find something on the underside of Ben's chin.  So that all can see this feature I have zoomed in but personally I think it could be either a hair or perhaps even a piece of dust or dirt on my camera.  Will Ben always be balder than a hairness mole?  The jury's still out on that one!

 Stage 1 - is that really a hair or a bit of dust on his chin?

Stage 2.

To show Ed's maturity, or perhaps just to reaffirm to himself that he's the oldest among us or maybe because he just could (what a rebel) Ed grew a beard over Christmas.  This facial feature lasted all of a couple of months until a freak shaving incident meant that the beard had to go.  It has not returned.

 Stage 2 - Bearded Ed

(It should be noted that I'm not going to grow a beard because I can't...I'm sooo young)

Stage 3.

Stage 3 of the seven stages belongs to Brian Blessed, well really it's just any excuse to be Brian into a blog entry.  I wonder what happens when someone who has had a beard for a long time shaves it off.  Do you suppose they have a very pain chin?  I sure do.

 Stage 3 - Brian 'the beard' Blessed

Stage 4.

Although all are fictional characters (Sorry kids, Dumbledore nor Hogwarts are really.  Harry Potter is though.  He works in Tesco) these three make it into stage 4 of beard.  It's very likely that folk here in were all born with facial hair; their poor mothers.

 Stage 4 - Santa, Dumbledore and GandalfStage 4 - Santa, Dumbledore and Gandalf

Stage 5.

The entry at stage 5 belongs to Leo Tolstoy.  What a facial bush he has.  Perhaps shaving was banned in Russia when he was around, but then again it gets so cold there that any kind of insulation is possibly needed...

 Stage 5 - Leo Tolstoy

Stage 6.

Jack Passion makes it to stage 6.  He's a world champion in beard growing don't you know.  This is a classic photo of this bearded one

 Stage 6 - Mr Jack Passion

Stage 7.

Now you may be thinking that Cousin Itt's hair was all from his head and was not a beard, but then who's to say he didn't have a beard as well?!  But then, perhaps this photo is of John Lennon in his pre Beatles days before he met Paul McCartney who told him to loose the beard as it didn't give the band a good image.  All evidence of this being Paul has been burnt...apparently.

 Stage 7 - The hairiest of the lot: Cousin Itt or is it John Lennon before a shave?

And there you have it.  The Seven Stages of Beard.

Keep on blogging.

1月15日

Same Old Tricks?

Same Old Tricks?
 
Text to be added later.
 
Keep on Blogging
9月16日

Multitasking

Who says blokes can't multitask?  Everyone always says (Well most people sometimes say...how about a few people occasionally say and even then it's likely they have the XX chromosome) it's women that can multitask, but I'd like to dispute this since I don't think you can really class drinking tea and having a good old natter as multitasking. 
 
Last Saturday was a massive day of sport on TV and radio and so just so we didn't miss any of the action we thought it would be a good idea to watch and listen to all sports on any media we could get our hands on.  On the big screen was the rugby: England vs USA, on the small screen the football: England vs Israel and on the radio, the cricket: England vs India.  England won all the matches, just!  What a sporting occasion, what multitasking skills us blokes have!  Oh and we were drinking beer as well.
 

Yay, Rugby, fooball and cricket all at once!

In the picture the cushions were necessary to achieve maximum digital radio reception...

After the cricket finished we thought we'd listen to the BBC rugby commentary, but sadly the digital TV pictures lag the radio braodcast by about a second, so we'd hear what was going on before we saw it.  Anyway, at least England won all three matches!

Keep on blogging

8月29日

Dangerous Chemical Alert

With the rising threat to the World from climate change due to, apparently (and I'm not too convinced here) Carbon dioxide I thought it was about time I drew your attention to a huge global killer that has gone unnoticed by all the world's governments as no laws or legislation has been passed, nor warning made about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.  So covert is this chemical that I doubt many if any of you have heard about it's deadly effects.  Here is an extract I found about it on the internet.
 
"Dihydrogen monoxide is a colourless, odourless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year.  Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there.  Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage.  Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance.  For those who have become dependent, DMHO withdrawal means certain death.
 
Dihydrogen monoxide:
 
  • is also known as hydroxyl acid, and is the major component of acid rain#
  • contributes to the "Greenhouse effect"
  • may cause severe burns
  • contributes to the errosion of our landscape
  • accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals
  • may cause electrical failures and decrease effectiveness of car brakes
  • has been found in excised tumours of terminal cancer patients

Comtimination is reaching epidemic proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake and reservoir in the world today.  The polllution is global and the contaminant has even been found in the Antartic ice.  DHMO has caused millions of pounds of property damage throughout the world.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

  • as an industrial solvent and coolant
  • in nuclear power plants
  • in the production of styrofoam
  • as a fire retardant
  • in many forms of cruel animal research
  • in the distribution of pesticides.  Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical
  • as an additive in certain "junk foods" and other food products

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers, seas and oceans, and nothing can be done to stop them because the practice is still legal.  The impact of wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!"

If you'd like to know more about dihydrogen monoxide you can read more about it here and here or you can read about DHMO on the DHMO website

This is a very serious issue that has to be addressed.

Next week, the amazing spagetti tree

Keep on blogging

 
 

8月8日

Children, you may go when the Lollipop man says you can...

Well what can I really say about last weekend's Hungarian Grand Prix that hasn't already been said?

It's true to say that the stewarts made the race absolutely farcicle, but then it wasn't exactly helped by the tit-for-tat spats between the double World Champion Alonso, and the Rookie (possibly the greatest Rookie in history) Hamilton.  But hey, it's all about winning in the end, so if you can get an edge, an advantage or anything anything over your rivals then you've got to be onto a winner, right?  Wrong!  It's obviously fine to get your advantage if no-one sees what you're doing, but not if you try to blatantly inpede someone which brings the sport into disrepute.Alonso in the pits

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, word of advice, which I'm sure Mr Dennis will have told you.  Hamilton: Behave.  Alonso: Go when the lollipop man says you can go.

Now that's all out of the way, I think it's time for another installment of the Six of the Best...Especially as I haven't exactly been paying too much attention to my blog in recent months.  Perhaps it's got something to do with liking the instant gratification of someone leaving a message, commenting about something?  But hey, it really doesn't matter now, I'm all over that and so will be using my blog for other amusing purposes over the coming months.  So, as I once said to myself 'Keep your eyes peeled on this one'!

Any suggestions for a Six of the Best would be greatly appreciated.  I was going to do Six of the best sporting feuds in history, but I think that would be a little obvious so I won't be doing that one :)  So when I think of something amusing I'll do it, but I've really got to go a rummaging for my funny cap cos I think I've lost it, but then it might be in the wash...

Keep on blogging

 
3月21日

And then there was the film

First there was the pictures of Ed in "interesting" places then there were the look-a-likes, and now, coming to a cinema near you very soon: A film that claims to be the next best thing since sliced bread that will confuse and conjure up utter bafflement and confusion.  A film so weird a gang of screaming monkeys said that a synopsis could not be written.  That's right, Hollywood have gone stark-raving bonkers and produced a film about a bloke who sits in an office and pretends to do work*.  Yes, it's - Ed, The Film.
 
Critics claim it's almost as strange and hard to understand in some areas as Vanilla Sky, but I frankly find that very hard to believe!
 
 

Jonathan Ross (Film 2007)** - This is the greatest film in existence today - a must see for all the family.

 

Now this one took me an absolute age to get right, but hey, it's up at last.  And to be perfectly honest, I think it looks really quite good.

Any suggestions for another film based picture would be greatly appreciated, otherwise I'll have to get my thinking cap out and to be frank, at the moment it's looking a little scruffy around the edges.  Me thinks I may have to invest in a new one!

Come next:- Ed, The Film II - The Return, followed by, in your local theatre:- Ed, The Musical.  Everyone will want to sing along!

Great fun and family entertainment.

Keep on Blogging 

*Ed does lots of work in the office, and doesn't ever pretend not to do work!

** As this film does not really exist, Jonathan Ross has not endorsed this peice of imagination in anyway, in fact it is very unlikely he'll ever see it ever.

10月20日

When Harry met Edward

I was walking down the road one day in the very merry month of...October when on the other side of the road I saw Harry of Third Rock from the Sun fame.  I was a little disappointed to note he wasn't walking with John Lithgow (he was the baddy in Cliffhanger you know) the commander of the crazed alien family living on Earth, but this didn't phase me.  I mean it's not really that often I see many famous people walking down the same road as me, let alone me being allowed to walk down the road without some guy chasing after me with a nice white jacket shouting 'he's escaped again Len, lets hunt him down'... I don't remember too much after that, other than then waking up to find myself in a room with very nice padding on the walls.  'Hmmm, nice decor' I say and then go back to sleep.
 
Anyway, having shouted 'Coowee' across the road at him, he stopped startled and then started running.  A brief chase ensued and I eventually caught up with him.  I think he was out of breath, but he may have fallen over Mrs Goggins small dog, who knows.  'Drat, drat and double drats' he said to himself (apparently) and after a brief conversation I persuaded him to have his photo taken with me.  As soon as Mrs Goggins (very useful lady to have around when you're telling these story) had closed the shutter of the camera Harry ran off never to be seen again.  I think he may be cowering in a corner somewhere...
 
So here is the picture.  I think he looks quite happy in the photo, don't you think?  Very pleased to meet me!
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Keep on blogging.  (Ed is in no way mad/crazy or ever has been or will be.  However this event did not ever happen)

9月24日

Guide to Beer Fests

OK, so this wasn't the Munich Oktober Fest, but then it was never really meant to be.  This Fest was done on a British scale and in the local town hall.  So, what was all the fuss about I hear you cry?  This was the annual CAMRA beer festival, supposedly for people who like their real ales  I for one appreciate all kinds of beer whether it be lager or ale etc, but now, and it seems they've been doing this for several years now, they also have cider on display.  Cider!? Cider? At a beer festival?  There has got to be something wrong there.  OK, so I can see why they would have European lagers on sale because that is beer, and some people, crazily don't like ales.  But cider!? Perhaps I'm missing the point here, but I don't think I have.  Surely the campaign for real ale should be marketing ales rather than them and cider.  Still, I suppose it brings more punters in and if they want to raise more money then this would be one way to diversify.
 
The fest I went to six months ago was on a lot smaller scale.  I think there were about 30 beers on display for us to sample, which in all fairness is a reasonable amount as in a small group of people, you can quite happily have 6 halves (they sell the beer in halves at these events so you don't have to drink too much of something you don't like, unless of course you bring your own pint glass, or are a member of Camra) wihtout overlapping the beers you have drank.  This fest I went to on Friday night on the other hand was over three times the size of the other one with over 100 beers (and ciders) on display.  But where do you start which such an array of alcohol abound?  This is a tricky one, and it'll take several more trips to beer fests to be able to give a more definative answer to this question.  I for one wasn't really sticking to any form of strategy, but just thinking to myself 'Ooooh, over there looks nice.  Lets go and see what they have' and off I toggle.  This method works well, but you have to be careful you're moving over to an area solely for the beer and not another reason...I'll leave you to think of other reasons.  In all seriousness I think a strategy has to be developed so that you can sample beers from several different breweries.
 
  • Start on the right hand side of the hall and choose one (or more, but I have to promote sensible drinking here) beer from each stand, when you have reached the end, work your way down the left hand side and of course not forgetting to visit any other areas that many not be either on the left or right.
  • Have a quick browse of the programme and choose the beers you want to drink during the evening...and stick to it.
  • Browse the programme once more but this time put the beers in alphabetical order and drink all the 'A' beers first and so on, you could do this with a friend who starts at 'Z' and works backwards and race them to 'M'.  This could be easily adapted for breweries as well.
  • Go to the fest over a course of a few days to see how many beers you can sample.
  • Devise your own strategy.

I'm sure there are lots more strategies that would work just as well as these few I have stated here, but you have to beware about going to the fest over a course of a few days, and not only for your health and the unlikelihood of you being able to get up in the morning to go to work.  Sadly I have found that the beers aren't kept in a very good condition at these events so the later you leave it the worse they taste and also the less choice there is.  I found this on Friday evening; the beer tasted grim and I wasn't following one of the above genius strategies I didn't find a beer I liked...at all.

I leave you with pictures of that evening.  A view from the balcony above the main hall.  You can see a band on the stage and they had ferried in their groupies so there were lots of screaming women floating about, which is good cos it means you tend not to notice the fat bearded tee shirt wearing men at these events any more! The beer fest!

(I really don't know who's the head is)

Keep on blogging and drink sensibly.

 

8月5日

Blunt Parody

It's been a while now, and I've just relised I've almost had a blog for a whole year.  But, sadly, I've been ignoring my blogging duties.  So it's not time to start to reverse this trend and get my arse into gear and write more than one blog entry a month.  A pretty poor performance if I do say so myself.
 
Anyway, I was searching through my PC earlier and I came across this beauty I must have written at the end of last year.  As the title suggests it's a parody of James Blunt's Your Beautiful.
 
So without further a do, here it is...sadly I haven't got a final line to this one, so if you have a line that would fit then tell me and it'll be fully appreciated. 
This song is pointless,
This tune is poor,
It was one about a bad day,
Of that I’m sure,
Oh no, that was done by Powter,
The guy with a beanie on his head,
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause we want to beat him til he’s dead.
 
You’re useless, I’m useless.
It’s useless, it’s true.
I may have a high squeaky voice,
And I don't know what to do,
Doctors say “surgery will never work for you”.
 
I poked my finger into my eye,     
As I walked on by.
People could see from my face that I was,
F**king stupid,
And I don't think that I'll be able to see properly again,
But at least I fought with Powter to the bitter end.
 
You’re useless. I’m useless.
It’s useless, it's true.
I saw Powter’s face in a crowded place,
So I ran right up to you.
But it was Usher, the annoying smoo.
 
La, la, la, la, smooo,
Smoo, smoo, smooo, smooo, smooo,
Schmeh…
 
You’re useless, I’m useless.
It’s useless, it’s true
There must be a record producer with a grimace on his face,
When they thought I should write and sing another song,
But it’s time to face the truth,
…I need a final line.
 
Ah, it's good to be back.
 
Keep on blogging!
6月21日

Greatest Eyebrows in History - The amendment

I can't believe I let this one slip me by when first creating the list of the Greatest Eyebrows in History; this pair is a pair of absolute beauts, certainly not to be sniffed at in any way, shape or form.  In fact, you could say I was quite jealous of this fair pair of bushes.  This pair could certainly give Nigel's pair of hairy caterpillars a run for their money, but alas, as the list has already been created this cannot be used as an entry...I know, sad but true; to let these beauts pass by is a bit like letting any moment pass you by, it just shouldn't be done.  So, who is this you are making an honorary member in the list of the Greatest Eyebrows in History I hear you cry.  Well, it's Charlie from Busted (he's got another group now, but no-one really cares anyway least of all me).  Enjoy this great pair!
 </DIVCharlie of Busted Fame
 
Keep on blogging!
5月30日

10

Has this guy gone completely mad now? He placed 24 up on his blog 40 days ago and now its 10, he must be absolutely bonkers.

To be frank, yes you’re right, but then what can 10 possibly mean to me on today of all days? Perhaps I had my feet measured the other day and for the first time they came out as being size 10 – Nah, that’s not true, I’ve been a size 10 shoe for a while now so it’ not that!

Perhaps it’s your mental age’s birthday, you’ve finally progressed into double figures in your head – well I’m afraid you’re wrong on that account as well, as I’m a perpetual 8, always have been and always will be.

So what can this 10 mean? Well ok, I’ll give you a clue; it is a number of years. So what could have occurred on this non descript Thursday back in 1996? Not the start of Euro 96, that wasn’t for another few days, not even at the start of the week, so what could it all be about.

Well, if you know me, you’ll know, and if you don’t then I’m not about to tell you. Now, aren’t I mean for writing all this and then now saying.

 

Anyway, congratulations Ed for making it to 10, here’s a big 10 for you!

(This blog entry was written for Ed by Ed.  Contributions to this entry were supplied by Ed.  Any donations you want to give Ed should be made out to Ed.  This entry can be read by Ed and anyone else for that matter.  No gown wearing was required for the writing of this blog!)

 

Keep on blogging!

4月24日

Off to find funny road names

Yesterday Helen and I went for a bit of a cycle; off to the dizzy heights that is Shepshed.  Woohoo I hear you cry, no really, woohoo!
 
Entering Shepshed we came across this road name and I thought it would be a good idea to take a picture of it.  Why?  Because it's immature and puerile, that's why!
 
So here it is... Butthole Lane
 

Yep, that's right: Butthole Lane is on the Pubic Byway. Oooooh, I just couldn't resist taking this photo and especially as some joker had taken the time and effort to remove the 'l' from public!

And just in case you thought I might have been making up the whole story about finding a road called Butthole Lane I thought it was appropriate to take the same photo, but this time with me in it...just so then you know I'm not lying about this one!

Ahhh, me in full gown and cap.  You don't half get hot and sweaty cycling around in this gear!

Keep on blogging.

4月21日

It was my birthday

It was my birthday yesterday:
 
24 now!
 
Ooooooh!
 
Keep on blogging,
 

24

And this is just so that I remember how old I am. Perhaps one day I'll stop acting my shoe size and start acting my age...but that day is not quite yet!

4月15日

Lonsdale Spotting

Now this is a great new game I was introduced to a couple of weeks ago.  This game is to be played whilst walking around a town near you to alleviate the boredom that is shopping.  It’s called Lonsdale spotting!  The rules are simple (suitable for two or more players):

 

  1. To score a point the spotter must be see someone wearing a Lonsdale item of clothing
  2. The spotted item much be verified by the other player, just to make sure you’re not making it up.
  3. A spotted item cannot be counted more than once.

It’s a game most suitable for a town rife with chavs and chavettes.

 

The thrill and exhilaration you get when you see your first chav is something else, but when you’re walking around Burton on Trent for a couple of hours you quickly realise that this can be a slightly tedious game.  This is of course true unless you’re competitive like me and my sister.  In total we managed over a course of 2 hours to spot and grand total of 30 Lonsdale wearer.  And of course I won the game out right by 18 points to 12!  Brilliant!

 

Try it whilst you’re walking round your home town, you’ll be surprised how enjoyable this game is.  Just beware not to point at these people for too long otherwise they have a tendency to notice and you could get a few odd looks yourself, or maybe worse...you have been warned!

 

Lonsdale.jpg

 

Keep on blogging.

3月23日

Microbloggisms

I was reading around my blog the other day and came across the 31 ways to use your blog.  You know, the one with the starting line: Not sure what to blog about?  You can blog about anything that interests you.  Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Keep a daily journal of your life.

Now, I could do that, but if I did I'd have to start lying just to jazz my life up a bit.  Come on, currently sitting in an office trying to decipher someone else's VC++ code isn't exactly my idea, or for that matter anyone else's idea of fun.  So perhaps it's a good idea I don't keep a daily journal of my life, well, not for the moment anyway!

2. Post a quote du jour.

I posted a quote du jour once before, and the second time my hat blew off.  I didn't get to where I am today by posting quote du jours.

3. Document your daily successes.

Hahaha, really?  Perhaps not.  Maybe monthly, or even yearly sucesses?  Onto 4...

4. List your goals.

Complete this list of things to do for my blog

5. Describe a recent adventure.

Hmmm, an adventure...have you read the other entries in my blog?  They're all of all my adventures.  All of these adventures are of course true, and their legitimacy can be verified by an independent adjudicator.  Honest guv'nor.

6. Compliment a friend.

Friends: you're all great, have a hug on me.

7. Write a restaurant review.

I think the last place I went to was the local Pizzeria.  Superb pizzas in all respects, but not really a restaurant.

8. Detail a recent date.

23/03/2006 - Ooooh that's today, what a profound date in so many ways.

9. List your favourite hang outs.

Favourite hang outs?  Hey - the pub, that's always a good place to start.

10. Share a poem of yours.

So now I've actually got to write a poem?  Yeah sure, why not, but there's a fat chance I'm going to share it with the world!

11. Offer tips in your area of expertise.

Does anyone really want to know anything about Digital Particle Image Velocimetry?  Or even know what those words mean?  Tell you what, let me write my thesis and if toy really want me to offer you tips on my area then I will, of course for a fee!

12. Wirte about your favourite hobby.

Would you really like me to write about my tellyvisualification processes? (Otherwise known as TV watching, just thought I should jazz that up a bit!)

13. Describe a class you're taking.

Like the area of expertise, I wouldn't want to subject the world to it just in case.

14. Review a movie.

ConAir: What a con.  Why on earth won't that plane stop when it's crashed?

15. Gossip about celebrities, co-workers, or friends.

Have you heard the one about Bob?  No?  Oh well, I'm sure you'll get to hear about it soon enough.

16. Outline your diet and exercise plan.

Eat, drink and be merry.  It works for me every time!

17. Share interesting bits of information.

If you want interesting bits of information then there is always Google.

18. Rate a book you've read.

Please see the list of books I've read down at the bottom of my page.

19. Describe your dreams.

Funny this: I can't actually remember any of my dreams I ever have!

20. Write an editorial about a current event.

Please see my blog.

21. Ask questions of other bloggers.

Have you read this far?  Well done if you have!

22. Share jokes and funny stories.

I refer you to my  blog once again!

23. Describe a project you're working on.

Hahaha, I don't think I should do that.  I live in fear of people keeling over in pain through the shear boredom I would inflict on them when I start talking about the work I do.  I started to describe what I did over Christmas to some of my mates; they glazed over in shear confuslement.  Two are still receiving hospital treatment.

24. Tell heart-warming pet stories.

What the..?

25. Offer dating or parenting advice.

Parental dating in not usual.

26. Write a short story.

Please see some of my other blogs.

27. Speculate about the direction of the stock market.

A useful tip here about what might happen.  The stock market may go up or down.  Now, I'm no Mystic Meg, but I think that's a good guess...For my next trick: this week's winning lottery numbers.

28. Highlight your favourite clothing stores.

Nah, I'm sure you know where's good to shop so there is no need for me to share my advice with you!

29. Share a mouth-watering recipe.

I refer you to Snickers Pie.  Not for the light hearted.

30. Post a photo of the day.

I post photos all the time.  They may not have any relevance to the day's events, and they may have all been doctored, but hey, what the hey, they're all pictures!

31. Share twenty things others should know about you.

I've gone one better than that. I have a list of (potentially) 101 things about me.  Sadly it currently stands at only two things as it's compiled by other bloggers and I've been neglecting my Pingu dancing before bedtime routine as well.

Yay finished!

Keep on blogging!

 

 

3月20日

Everest Excursion

Wow, I really haven't updated in a while, but not to worry my intrepid followers; I have been busy.

I went on a little excursion for a month and a bit; to Everest indeed, but I'm back now so no need to worry!

Sadly I forgot to take my camara with me, it had something to do with the extra weight would slow me down... so this is the best shot I have.  It was taken by one of the Sherpas none the less.  At least it was a nice day when I got up top!  There were these guys doing a bit of scientific research when I got there so I didn't stay too long, after all it was a tad nippy in my cap and gown.

Where to next? Who knows, I sure don't!

 

Keep on blogging.

2月12日

Snickers Pie

Now this one is for all you slimmers out there, or people with salubrious tendencies: yes it’s Snickers Pie!

 

This gluttonous extravaganza was recently in the news as possibly being the unhealthiest puddings of all time.  This of course intrigued me as I wondered what all the fuss and bother was about.

 

Searching through the bbc website I found the article relating to Snickers Pie only to find that it was made by Wozza on The Saturday Kitchen about two years ago.  So, if this pie was shown on the TV about two years ago why has it taken the food commission two years to tell us all how bad it is?  Maybe it’s because the commission were running a study on the other infamous pudding: Death by Chocolate at the same time, and taking its name a little too lightly as they weren’t envisaging a pudding that could, in effect, kill you, let alone two puddings that could kill a man in a few mouthfuls.  Makes you wonder, doesn’t it!  Perhaps it’s taken all this time for the original guys who were doing the study to recover from the massive heart attacks they suffered when just eating too much pie.

 

At 1250 calories per slice – equivalent to 22 teaspoons of fat and 11 teaspoons of sugar per serving - it’s not really for the fainted hearted, or for that matter, after eating a slice, for anyone with a heart!

 

I for one have never had Snickers Pie, this probably has something to do with me knowing that peanut and chocolate don’t really go very well together, but I was intrigued to know what the ingredients were in this pie.  Following through this article I read:

 

“…The recipe had also been on the BBC Food website, though the link to the page does not currently work.

 

“Bugger” I thought, “I’ll never be able to find out what’s in this recipe…oooh, hmmm, ahhh, wait a minute, wait a cotton picking minute...” (I really don’t know why I think in cotton picking minutes, or for that matter what cotton picking minutes are, but the thought process continued) “...search for it on Google!” So that is what I did…

Snickers Pie*

Serves 4. Preparation time less than 30 minutes. Cooking time 30 minutes to one hour.

Ingredients

1 packet puff pastry
140g/5oz mascarpone
110g/4oz soft cheese
50g/2oz caster sugar
3 eggs
5 Snickers bars, chopped

Method

·        Preheat oven to 200C/400/Gas 6

·        Roll pastry to 3-4mm thick and use to line a 20cm/8in fluted tart tin

·        Beat the mascarpone, soft cheese and sugar together in a large bowl, until smooth

·        Beat in eggs, one at a time.

·        Add the Snickers bars and fold in

·        Pour into lined tart tin, and spread to the edges

·        Place in the oven for 10 minutes, then lower to 180C/350/Gas 4 for a further 25 minutes until golden and set.

·        Allow to cool before serving.

The Daily Mail has got some uses after all..! (I found the recipe from there!)

 

Obviously this goes straight on the hips and is not for regular use” - Antony Worrall Thompson
 
* Ed can accept no responisibility from you gorging yourself silly on Snickers Pie.  Use recipe at your own risk!
 
Keep on blogging (if you've not eaten too much pie!)
1月30日

A Living Tribute to Andy Crane

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night, in a cold sweat, wondering what ever happened to the children’s BBC presenter that is Andy Crane?  No?  Either have I, but I’d thought I’d ask!

 

Those of you from the North West will of course know what Andy is currently up to, that is provided you listen to Century FM from between 10pm until 1am.  For those of you who don’t know, he’s working as a presenter on a show called Love Lines, a show dedicated to relationship dilemmas.

 

So a guy that used to talk to a puppet duck with a squeak for a voice (of course that would be Edd the Duck!) is now presenting a radio phone in discussing other people’s relationship problems, interesting to say the least!

 

You could say I’ve found the owner of the missing brain as shown in my previous bloggings. 

 

How many people out there remember a pop group called Tribes of Toff?  Please don’t shout all at once, ok the silence is deafening.  They sang the song: John Kettley is a Weatherman back in 1988 which reached number 21 in the chart.  The catchy little song included the memorable lines:

 

"John Kettley is a weatherman

A weatherman, a weatherman

John Kettley is a weatherman

And so is Michael Fish..."

 

And also had the legendary line:

 

            "Andy Crane has got no brain."

 

They released the song on the week that Andy was going to present Top of The Pops

 

Back in 1988, at the tender age of six I seem to remember how true those lyrics were and since I thought about doing this tribute I’ve done a Google search and I found an interview done between the website On the telly and Andy Crane.  In the interview Andy says:

 

“…It's a great song [John Kettley is a Weatherman], and every word of it is true…”

 

And I have to agree with the guy.

 

So now you know what happened to Andy Crane, I leave you with some pictures of Andy in his early children’s TV age.  I think you’ll agree with me that one of then is a splitting image of the boys from Bros.

  • Press play to listen to the greatness that is Tribes of Toff - John Kettley is a Weatherman!

Oh and before I forget, visit Andy's homepage.  It's currently being developed, but it should be good when it's done.

 

 

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What a mullet!

  src="http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u156/EdwardPutman/AndyCrane1.jpg"

 

Andy auditions to be a bros brother.

 

Keep on blogging.

1月25日

Do you know?

There are some things we know we know, there are some things we think we know we know and there are some things we know we don't know. 

But also, there are things we don't know we know, things we don't think we know we know, things we know but don't want to know and things we don't know we don't know.
 
Deep.
 

Manuel: he knew nothing, he was from Barcelona.

George W: What does he know?

A missing brain...who's is it?

Keep on blogging.

Farewell...

Yesterday was my Grampa's funeral.
 
There were about 200 people at the church service for you.  Quite some turn out and all of us were there for you too.
 
You even got yourself an obituary in Motorsport news as well.  Matt says he'll keep the article for me so I can read it.
 
Geoffery William George Ward
 
27th March 1923 - 12th January 2006
1月20日

Are you a child of the 90s?

I seem to have completely lost my trail of thought and blogginess recently.  I don't know what it is.  Perhaps it's got something to do with me beginning to run out of ideas and so now I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel.  This would explain the grazes I have on my face.  Heaven's forbid! I may have to start talking about what I've been doing...and I can't be having that!
 
So anyway, I received an email from Laura the other day and so I'm going to subject you all to it...and for an additional bonus I'm going to throw in a bit of running commentary as well...
 
Enjoy.
 
  • 10p Mr Frosty Ice Pops on long summer days! – “mmmm…Mr Frosty…”
  • Gordon the Gopher! – “Not forgetting Edd the Duck as well!”
  • You could do or tried to do the Prodigy step. 'You're no good 4 me....'
  • You owned or longed for an Adidas three stripe tracksuit – “I didn’t…this can only mean one thing: I didn’t live through the 90s”
  • You owned a compilation tape with TOP TUNES such as "Mr Vain", "What is love" and "Rhythm is a dancer" and 'How Bizarre, How Bizarre"


What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Oh, baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more…”

  • Girls thought Blue Mascara was cool! – “Now just Chavs?”
  • Girls actually fancied Garry Barlow more than Robbie Williams – “Gary Who?”
  • The Racoons! (nuff said) – “All I have to say here is what the hell what that pink monstrosity, you know the one that smoked the cigars and had a kid who went round with the Racoons”
  • You owned a pair of Nike Air Max, and wore them to death – “Aye”
  • Mr Motivator (What ever happened to him?) – “He’s probably living in Jamaica and watches all the British kids get fatter…actually he has a website too”
  • Running on the spot dancing! – “There are some people who still do this…apparently”
  • You wore leggings/cycling shorts with long t-shirts – “Hmmm, don’t think I did”
  • You owned a Benetton, NafNaf, sweater shop jumper or waistcoat – “Again I didn’t!  So deprived”
  • Girls owned scrunchies in an array of colours and tacky headbands with their names written on in thick glitter – “Only the protochavettes however!”
  • You bought Smash Hits for the song lyrics and the immense amount
    of stickers that you would stick everywhere!
  • You had a pen pal – “And now it’s MSN pals!”
  • You could only watch the Simpson's on Sky – “And now you can only watch the decent new episodes on Sky”
  • On a Saturday afternoon you watched Catchphrase, Gladiators, Generation Game, Noel’s House Party and then Casualty. – “I still do, well one out of five ain’t bad!”
  • Cans of Coke were 25p – “I’m more of a Pepsi guy myself, but it’s expensive now…eeeee, when I were a lad…”
  • 10p Space Raiders Crisps – “Yay!”
  • A grey Fruit of the Loom jumper was a must have – “They were?  Shit, no-one told me!”
  • Sharkie & George were the crime busters of the sea – “And let the truth be told; they still are!”
  • Puffa jackets – “Looked stupid and are stupid”
  • You used the line "it's a free country" every day – “Maybe everyday is a little excessive…”
  • The Sky Sports Blimp! – “Wooo”
  • Impulse body spray for girls – “Hmmm, no comment”
  • Hooch Alcoholic Lemonade (where's it gone?!)
  • 'Don't forget your toothbrush', 'TFI' and Big Breakfast with Chris Evans – “He was indeed the presenter…what’s your point?!”
  • You had at least one troll – “None”
  • You know the dance to Macarena and Saturday Night. You also tried
    to scat like Scatman John! Bi bat ba ba da bo... – “Of Course”
  • You watched Baywatch and longed for the day that Eddie & Sharni
    got together! – “And get the Hoff into the action as well!”
  • You watched Byker Grove 'ha ha ha whatcha laughin at!' (the
    theme song ending), and saw PJ get shot in the eye with a paintball! – “Yeah and don’t they just love to repeat that scene on programmes like: What the hell happened to PJ and Duncan, get me out of here!”
  • PJ and Duncan not Ant and Dec! Dodgy Pop Not Dodgy Presenting! – “There is nothing wrong with PJ and Duncan’s presenting, sic
  • Shell suits & bum bags! – “Yay”
  • You longed to live in Beverley Hills 90210 – “Nope, it was no doubt full of American tarts…if they were jam tarts then that’s fair enough”
  • Home and Away was a prime time ITV programme watched by millions – “And now it’s a shite programme on 5”
  • You owned a Spice Girls album – “Funny this, but I didn’t…I bet my sister did though…girl power, wooo”
  • Fruit salads and black jacks! – “mmmm”
  • Strike it Lucky on a Sunday night with Michael Barrymore when he
    was straight and married – “Has he made up his mind yet?”
  • Chain letters – “Now its spam emails!”
  • You had fake ID – “Actually I didn’t, and there’s no need for any anymore!”
  • You remember Todd Landers in Neighbours – “Who?”
  • You religiously watched Saved by the Bell on a Saturday morning! – “Of course!”
  • You more than likely lost/nearly lost a wobbly tooth on a wham bar!!
  • CK one (probably the fake one from the market)
  • Going Live, then Live and Kicking was the place to be on a
    Saturday Morning - you know you remember the number 0181 811 8181 – “And that’s only because it had that annoying tune that went with it”
  • You knew every word to the theme tune from Fresh Prince of Bel Air

“Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel-air…

So no, I don't know them at all..."

  • You collected Premier League Stickers and did swoops at playtime – “Indeed, my brother and I still have the league ’90-’91 album somewhere and it’s almost complete…think it needs about 6 stickers for completion.  My brother seemed to be a swapping king (or the other kids at school were stupid) as once he managed to collect all the batman stickers without buying a single one!”
  • Girls wore crappy lipstick such as - coffee shimmer, heather shimmer and birthday suit! – “They did indeed.  These observations are good.”
  • You wore kickers and wallaby's with the tags hanging from them – “Not me Your Honour, but there were plenty of tits at school who did”
  • You thought saying - "I know you are, you said you are but what am I" to every cuss that that came your way! – “Nope, not heard that one before”
  • "love got the world in motion" with the John Barnes Rap

“You’ve got to hold and give
But do it at the right time
You can be slow or fast
But you must get to the line…

…We’re singing for England (In-ger-lan)…”

  • When you used to run away from some thing and shout ' leg iiiiiitt' – “Yeah and I still do, as well as ‘ave eeeet!”

 

Pictures to follow...

 

Keep on blogging.

1月14日

Can you do the Pingu dance?

As I sit here trying to work out what the hell I’m meant to be doing I’d thought I’d write I blog entry I said I’d write a while ago.

 

Now, I do like tedious if not slightly tenuous links between things.  I’m the kind of guy who tries to play six degrees of separation – with varying degrees of success may I add.  So, for today’s tedious link it’s between two of my articles, Edvert II and A Living Tribute to the Hoffmeiser.  Thing is this link is so easy I can make the link between them directly – So here it is:

  • In 1989, David Hasselhoff released (in Switzerland only) the single “Pingu Dance”, a rap song based on the Pingu shorts and featuring a number of samples of Pinguish.

Easy eh? and fantastic and not any leather clad undies in sight.

 

So as the Hoff files for divorce from his second wife we can all sit back and marvel in this lyrical masterpiece.

 

And as I’m so nice I’ll even post the lyrics up here as well.  So clean off those vocal cords, press play (on media player) and start singing!

Do, ray, me, far, so, la, tee, urgh?

Pingu ...
Pingu ...

OK everybody, this is the Pingu prance
All everybody have to do the Pingu dance
My name is Pingu, come on dance to the beat
It's easy if you try just watch my feet
It's all, be happy and have some fun
Let's come to 10 and start with 1
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10, let's go to 11
Stomp your feet and turn around
Reach for the sky, now touch the ground

To the Pingu ...
To the Pingu ...

(music)

Now made a little different go all the sames
Just different bodies with different names
We all have mommys and we all have dads
Sometimes we're happy, sometimes we're sad
If you smile and dance with me
You'll be happy, just wait and see
Stomp your feet and turn around
Reach for the sky, now touch the ground

To the Pingu ...
To the Pingu ...

Come on kids
P P P P P, P P P P P do the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P to the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P to the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P do the Pingu

OK kids, come on, and dance to the beat
It's easy if you try just watch my feet
Let's all be happy and have some fun
Let's come to 10 and start with 1
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10, let's go to 11
Stomp your feet and turn around
Reach for the sky, now touch the ground

To the Pingu ...
To the Pingu ...

Come on kids
P P P P P, P P P P P do the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P to the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P to the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P do the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P do the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P to the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P to the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P do the Pingu
P P P P P, P P P P P do the Pingu 

(music will be removed on 21st January 2006)

Dave you’ve out done yourself again.

 

 

Coming up: A tribute to Andy Crane – you’ve got to see it to believe it!

1月7日

The Vodka Scooter

I got this through on the old t'intermail the other day.  I've seen the same style of article many times before and it made me smile so I thought I'd share it with you lot...
 
The Vodka Scooter...
 

How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night drinking and thought, "How on earth did I get home?"

As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to your house.

The answer to this puzzle is that you used a "Vodka Scooter".

The Vodka Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus, the Roman God of Wine.

The Vodka Scooter works in the following fashion - The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Vodka Scooter.

The Scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment.

This answers the second questions after a night out, "How did I spend so much money?"

Unfortunately, Vodka Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries), such as bruised legs, stubbed toes, scratched hands and a sore spot on the top of your head.

An undocumented feature of the Vodka Scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for?

This answers a third question after a night out, "What the hell happened?"

With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing Moments in Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order, those parts in time regretted most.

Unfortunately one person's REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another's and quite often, lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time.

Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the Scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending passengers to the wrong bedroom with the wrong person, often with horrific consequences.

Vodka Scooters come equipped with Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending).

These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up the stairs, you are sure to wake either everyone else in the house or your downstairs neighbours. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.


Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a small outfit for the ladies or for the men -no jacket.

Vodka scooters.........the wonders of modern technology...have you ever had a ride on one??!!

 

Not original, but who cares? - I like it and I don't even like Vodka!

 

Keep on blogging.

1月3日

I can see...

...clearly now the specs are on,
I can see all obstacles in my way...
 
Well, actually that's not quite true at the moment. The prescription was so different that my eyes have to adjust to my new glasses.  They changed from -1.50 in both eyes to -2.75 and -3.00.  Great, so being as blind as a mole is a possibility.
 
Keep on blogging.

Me in a few years? No, not a blind hamster!

1月1日

A New Year, A New Adventure

A Merry New Year to one and all who come across my blog. I of course cannot possibly speculate about something so young, but no doubt it'll be fantastic!

A new adventure?  No, I'm lying.  I can't possibly think of a new theme for my blog in such a short space of time.  It would take Think Tanks, Focus Groups, Government Advisory Boards and thankfully I don't have access to any of these facilities; it's just me, on my computer with several crazy ideas and a bit of time...

I'm sure your familiar with the workings of Andy Warhol he was a famous arty type from he 20th century and did lots of print work such as Marilyn Monroe and Che Guevara.

So, I thought "Hmmm, I could do one of those" and so I have...

 

Personally I think my prints are a lot more vibrant than that of Warhol's, possibly because I couldn't be arsed getting my potatoes out to do my prints so instead opted for the frankly better Photoshop way.  Don't you think it's really captured the mood of society today?  "What the feck?" you're possibly thinking at the moment, and you'd be right!  What the feck are art critics talking about? You get your art brushes out and create a masterpiece! Today my blog...tomorrow Tate Modern? I think not - but they did let Tracy Emin in...Now don't get me started!
 
Keep on blogging.