So, I’ve had a blog for the best part of a month now, and what have I noticed about the majority of spaces available to view on the web?  There are far too many pages out there using sloppy and frankly incomprehensible language that most other people cannot understand.  This of course is fair enough; move on and walk away.  There are on the other hand some excellent blogs out there for reading that I can read and are comprehensible.

But is this text speak language actually a bad thing?  Well it is pointless as it is really incomprehensible and surely the whole point of language is so you can communicate with others.  This type of unfathomable dribble is slowly evolving the English language.  Yes that’s right, I think it’s developing and changing the language.  For the better?  The verdict it out on that one, but what do you really think I’m doing to say?

We all should of course all embrace evolution and change.  It keeps us on our toes; it means we have to continually change and adapt.  In language it allows for the introduction of new words and phrase which are all well and good, but surely if it ain’t broke don’t try to fix it. 

We all remember studying William Shakespeare at school.  He was certainly the bane of my life for a couple of years many moons ago.  He was (apparently), and is (apparently) the greatest writer of English ever.  I personally think that is very debatable, but anyway a lot of people can relate to his work.

Here is his 'to be or not to be' soliloquy in Hamlet, ok, so I don’t really expect you to read it, but there is a point coming up.

And here is the same speech chav-istised:

2 be..u no..or not 2 be dat iz de kwesshun

Wheva tiz nobla n da mnd 2 suffer

de slngz and arrowz of outrageouz 4choon

Or 2 tayk armz agenst a sea ov troubles

And by opposng end vem? 2 die: 2 sleep

No more; n by a fukin sleep 2 say wi end

de heart-ache n de vousand natural shox

dat flesh iz heir 2 ...fuk...tiz a consummashun

Devoutly 2 be wishd...2 die...fuk...2 sleep

2 sleep: perchance 2 dream ay...fuk...derez de rub

4 n dat sleep ov ded wat dreamz may cum

Wen wi hav shuffled off viz mortal coil

Must giv uz paws: verez de masiv respek dat maykz calamiti ov so lon life

4 wo wud bear da whipz and scornz ov time

de oppressorz rong...lyk...de proud manz contumely

de pangz of fukin despyzd love..hehe..de lawz delay

de nsolence ov office n de spurns

dat patient merit ov de unwurfy tayks

Wen he himself mite hiz kwietuz mayk

Wid a bare bodkn? wo wud fardelz bear

2 grunt n sweat unda a weary life

But dat de dred ov sumink afta ded

de undiscoverd country from wose bourn

No travlla returns..um..puzzlez de will

And maykz uz rava bear vose illz we hav

Den fly 2 odaz dat wi no not fukin of?

duz conscience doez mayk cowardz of uz all

And vuz de nativ hue ov resolushun

Iz siklied oa wid da pale cast ov dought

And enterpryzz of great pid n moment

Wid viz regard veir currentz turn awry

And lose da name ov acshun...- Soft u now!11

de fair Ofelia!11 Nymf..u no..n vy orisons

Be fukin all mi snz rememberd...

As you can see it’s really the reversion of English back to the ye olde English ways, totally incomprehensible.  But hey, you don’t have to read it; move on, go somewhere else, you’re free to roam.  But remember we have moved on a good 500 years since the ye olde English ways and developed so much in that time.

So down with your text speak type of language and good-bye to Americanisms in English.  I want to walk on the pavement, park on the drive, turn on the tap and have a favourite flavour of biscuit.  I think the language should be preserved as it is.

The chavisms used in this site would have not have been possible without the help of this site.  Pure genius (on a website)